Well one last post from me for 2012.
Its weird what a year can bring isn’t it? This time last year Michael and I had the smallest inkling that we were expecting our second child. This was soon confirmed in late January. Obviously as you all know, I actually had cancer in my uterus and soon after had a hysterectomy.
After getting over the shock of being diagnosed with cancer and loosing my uterus, Michael and I soon after commenced our search for a surrogate, leading us to Chloe and Matt.
Many might think that looking back on 2012 I might be angry or thinking “why me?”, “life is so unfair”. I guess there is a small part of me that does think this way, but too be honest 2012 as taught me some very valuable lessons.
Being told you have an aggressive form of cancer that could kill you, really makes you stand up and cherish life. For me anyway. It made me realise I love life, I want my life and I want to fight for it. This also made me realise what is really important to me in my life. Number one is my family, Michael and Myla. It made me realise you gotta live life for every day, because you never know what’s around the corner.
I have noticed a huge change in myself. I count my blessings everyday. I am thankful for what I have, I try to help others where ever I can and I look at my little girl everyday, I mean really look at her and realise how blessed I am to have her.
I think to be honest with myself, before this year I was quite materialistic. I always dreamed of ways I could renovate my house to make it look better, Michael and I were always doing little home improvements on the weekend. Now I’d rather leave the house how it is and spend quality time with my family. We ensure every weekend we do something special as a family. It may only be a trip to the park, a bbq on the back deck, attending community events – whatever it might be – its way more important than home improvement jobs.
I’ve also decided that lifes short and so I am going to focus on things that matter, spend time with people who care about me and not worry about things that don’t matter or those that aren’t interest in whats best for me. I use to spend so much time worrying about making things perfect and having good relationships with everyone. Now things are what they are and I don’t spend so much time worrying. Ok yes I still worry, but just not as much.
I also realised that there are some amazing people in the world that will do amazing things for complete strangers. I still can’t believe that women are prepared to have another woman’s child – for nothing other than the satisfaction of doing so. Chloe and Matt – I know you are reading this – I will never be able to express to you both how much what you are doing for us means to me. I will never be able to thank you enough. You will always hold a very special part in my heart – no matter what happens – baby or no baby – thank you thank you thank you. I really am so humbled that you would do this for me.
So 2013 – bring it on!!!! I am so excited for 2013. 2013 is going to be when the surrogacy journey really kicks off for us. This year is going to be full of appointments, injections, pill popping, legal jargon, medical jargon, ups, downs, most likely tears and with any luck a lot of happiness.
Hopefully I am going to find myself in the strange situation of someone else pregnant with my baby. Hopefully this time next year I’m holding my little baby in my arms – wow that’s sounds so surreal to me at the moment, but gee I’m hoping for it.
So anyway whatever your dreams and hopes are for 2013 – I wish you lots of success.
Happy New Year.
PS – Michael and I also have $100 riding on who can reach their goal weight first – he reckons he has it in the bag – so if anyone sees me with chocolate please remove it from my hand, even my mouth if you have to!!